My Cat Who Went To Heaven

270810.2226.Friday

Exactly one week ago, we visited the vet as my cat was sick. He was really good and really strong within. But in the end, he couldn't make it and he went to heaven. He is Wisely, often affectionately called Kitty or Maomao. He was a stray kitten when we first found him and so we do not truly know what his breed is. But he is, nonetheless, special and unique.

He has short white fur, a bobtail and really beautiful eyes. One eye is blue, and the other is yellow-green. His name was inspired by this main character 卫斯理 (Wisely) from this Chinese show. I can't remember the name of the show but it had something to do with the supernatural or something. Well, it wasn't meant to be official. We were just channel-surfing, we saw the show, then dad came home with the kitten and we named him after the main character. :) Everything also reminded me of this book I once read, called "The Cat Who Went To Heaven" by Elizabeth Coatsworth, so came about this special post that's dedicated to Wisely.

We initially wanted to bring Wisely to the SPCA but we attached to it. Well, we managed to convince our parents :) So I remember Wisely went missing once. I was really really upset and it was a few days before my birthday so I was really not in the mood to do anything. I think it was in 2008 that year. I was still taking Japanese as a 3rd Language so I came home around 7.20pm plus every day from Monday to Friday. I was so worried that I would go downstairs the moment I came home to look for Wisely. Thank goodness he got lost in our condo so we were hoping that he was still somewhere in the condo.

Well, how did it happen? We were trying to make Wisely a semi-stray sort of cat. Our parents weren't for the idea in the first place, plus we have a big family so there's lack of space and money and whatnot. So the compromise was to make Wisely a semi-stray, like the stray cats who have people looking after them and they come back at the same time every time for meals or when they are just bored. That was the compromise we wanted to reach but Wisely, being domesticated from young, did not have the street smarts and he got lost, unable to find his way back to our home. It worked for a few days then poof, he went missing. I was worried he had no shelter, and no food. I prayed and prayed and searched and searched and my prayers were answered. I went around the carpark meowing and that very moment, he answered my call. He was so happy to meet us but scared as well. He was traumatised. But when he entered our home again, he immediately went to his favourite corner to rest and gobbled up the food. That made me realise that there are more important things in life than just gardes and all.

So well, all was fine untillast week. He got sick, didn't want to eat, sleep in a corner all day, was weak, unwilling to respond and didn't poop nor pee. I was worried sick but it was the last week of official lessons in school before the EYAs. (unfortunately, I had alreay taken the second chance God gave me with Wisely after he went missing for granted and forgotten how important relationships actually are) Plus, I could not do anything when I'm in school. Nor when I'm home actually since bringing Wisely to a vet is expensive and nowhere near our home. I don't have that kind of money and I have no form of transport. I felt really helpless for about 2-3 days. I read up about Wisely's symptoms and possible conditions.... the more I read, the more I got scared. The worst thing is, all I could do was to observe him and see if he gets better or worse. Of course, he got worse. Finally, we brought him to the vet on Friday night, after my father came home and could bring Wisely there.

We went out around 9pm plus and reached the vet around 9.30pm. After an examination, we could go in to see Wisely in the vet's consultation room around 9.55pm plus. My heart immediately went out to Wisely. I saw him there on the table top, looking very weak and I think he was slightly sedated. This was what the vet said to us: 1. Wisely was initially already very weak. 2. He had a blocked bladder (common in cats, large killer of cats) 3. He had internal bleeding in the bladder (inflammation?) 4. Explains why he did not pee. 4. Uncomfortable so no appetite and did not want to eat. 5. Unable to pee, he was unable to flush out toxins in the body 6.This strains the kidneys. Have to undergo tests to see if he has kidney failure. Cannot determine directly. 7. Because of toxin build-up in the body, he gets weaker and weaker. 8. It was an emergency. 9. Wisely might not be able to make it.

You know what happened then. We decided to hospitalise Wisely so as to ensure that he could be looked after well and yeah, there were the blood tests and procedures in trying to unblock the bladder. I acutally saw the bloody urine that the vet managed to remove and I felt so sad that I never realised what had been happening to Wisely all the while. And when they remove all that urine, he was not sedated. Too weak to actually respond to the pain. Man oh man T_T

So it was 2226 hours (10.26pm) that we received the call from the vet that Wisely went to heaven. And the thing is, we just arrived home a few minutes before. You know, after being worried for so many days, I felt that a huge boulder has been lifted off my chest when I knew that Wisely was in the good hands of the vet. I trusted that things be fine but that's just me. I'm too soft and trusting and optimistic but this is the real world. I cried so much and cried every night for the next 3 nights. I acted I was fine because I didn't want my family to worry. (Wisely belonged to all of us, but I was the most attached to it, besides my auntie) But when night came, it became harder to put up a strong front, especially when you're in bed alone, with just your wandering thoughts. In the dark, it's so much easier to cry.

But finally, maybe due to exhaustion plus the start of the EYAs, I slept through one whole night from 9pm plus all the way till morning. I didn't cry that night and haven't cried since. Maybe it's a form of enlightenment? Or have I just become numb? I don't know yet but when I do think of Wisely now, I think of the good memories. Sure they are regrets and I feel that I could have done more, I could have changed things and Wisely would still be with us right now but maybe this is the way it has to be. Fate, they say. Well, I'm not sure but I'm definitely considering taking up vet science in the future... for Wisely.

They say things happen for a reason.... I don't think I have found that reason yet but I know I will one day. Meanwhile, Wisely will always stay in our hearts - fondly remembered and unforgotten. I love you.